Dear Daddy: How to keep things spicy in long distance situations.

My Daddy lives in Florida and I live in Washington, what ways could he and I still make our relationship work in both romantically and sexually? Do you have any tips for keeping things fresh or ideas on how to spice things up a little (or a lot)?  Thank you for your advice and everything you do for our community!

Daddy Responds:
I’ve had several requests in the last little while for ideas about this and keeping the relationship going when things become ‘long distance’ which is why I combined them together and then created my previous post about communication to address the ‘relationship’ aspect.
The ‘naughty’ bits would have wound up buried in the communication post and I wanted that message to be as clear as possible: If you want to keep a relationship going, learn to communicate in ways that show stability. The same is true for this side of the coin, the sexy side, but there are more elements to this that would have been missed had it been mixed up. This will build on those ideas so it’s good to check that post out too. 
https://dirtydaddythings.tumblr.com/post/179294158277/dear-daddy-how-do-i-handle-a-long-distance

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Now on to the spicy part:
For as long as there’s been sex and relationships, people have carried around ‘mementos’ or tokens of affection. These little things provided not only a reminder but a sense of connection to their ‘intended’. Time has done very little to actually change such things and their effect on people. The idea, of course, was to keep ‘fidelity’ on their mind while away, but also as a reminder of what waits for them at home.
Keeping the idea that ‘regular’ shows commitment and the effort counts as much as it being about the other person, being ‘spicy’ over long distance falls into the same category where distance isn’t relevant. The only part that distance removes is the ‘physical’ element where you can deliver on the promise soon, but that’s the trick: to make it feel like a promise of what’s waiting at home.
Note the emphasis on the idea of ‘home’ because the person in both cases wants their ‘other’ to remember them and to be where their thoughts turn by keeping that connection ‘alive’ for them. The idea is to create ‘anchor’ moments, events or communications to create a stable ‘bond’ because that provides a natural avenue for you to also be naughty.
Which brings us to ‘keeping it going’ in this technological age.
Believe it or not, the ability to do video chat and sext can complicate matters and because of that kind of ‘ease’ you can get desensitized to things like that. So the trick then is to ‘keep it fresh’ and be creative. This opens up a massive world of opportunities to show off our creativity, dedication and adoration for each other without ever needing to get ‘nekkid’ but still being naughty as fuck. The boundaries of this endeavor is limited ONLY by the boundaries of your imagination, second only to the boundaries of your relationship.
That last point, about the relationship, is what sets the parameters in the broadest sense and even helps point toward ideas in general for activities you can do that accomplish the goal of keeping the fire lit while apart.
From a personal standpoint, I don’t get ‘naughty’ over long distance (done with that phase of my life). I keep things aimed at the relationship, the affection and bond, shared without adding ‘sex’ to the mix because that can cause a physical longing and when coupled with the emotional one can increase the difficulty in my experience. Then again, I play the game in a different way from most with an entirely different goal because I’ve little worry about ‘infidelity’ or waning passions. With me those things, fidelity and passion, come from dedication and feelings of belonging. I don’t want my boy ‘burning up’ anywhere but in my arms and neither does he.
That said, it can be a lot of fun to be naughty and I respect that and always enjoy a boy who wants to show off for his Daddy because I appreciate a good ‘tease’ as much as anyone else. So let me give you a few tips and tricks to help think about the ways that YOU can make your Daddy happy while he’s away. Ready? Because class is now in session.

If you read my lesson on communication, you know that habit, pattern, regularity, frequency and content are the keys to maintaining a relationship over long distance. You know the reasons why those things are critical points that need to be prioritized and balanced into a ‘life’ that happens when neither can touch the other. That can, and does often, include the idea of the ‘memento’ of home which can take many forms if you’re creative and if there is one thing (other than being a good boy) that this Daddy encourages: it’s a boy showing that dedication through thinking and being creative in his ways to show that part of himself to me.
As noted above; the boundaries of your relationship determine the avenues you can use to express yourself but in general there are some safe ways in most relationships. A few of those are:

1: Sexting.

The good ole standby of saying naughty things over text messages. I actually include any other ‘chat’ or ‘back and forth’ in this category so text, video chats, and the like fall here. Here is where I would advise variety because you want to avoid getting ‘bored’ with it. Always be mindful of the boundaries and safety of both people involved as it isn’t always SAFE to get a naughty text so save that for specific times you’ve discussed together. The same goes with good times to chat and respond to each other. Be sure to stick within the ‘rules’ you’ve set with each other and be safe about it. If sexting is something you do anyway, keep it up. This falls under the consistency rule mentioned above.
Speaking of Rules...
I always set rules and priority orders in situations like this: In bed Daddy comes first but otherwise thins like homework always come before chatting/being naughty with me. Hell, I’m not even kind about it: If a boy’s grades drop because he’s spending too much time with me, we slow things down considerably until he’s proven he can manage his time AND desires in an acceptable order.
Since it’s ‘lesson time’, who can tell me the reasons I do this? If you think you know, feel free to drop me an ask/submission here with your thought and we’ll talk about this further at another time.

2: Slices of life and love notes.

These are the little things, the ‘thinking of you’ things you sneak in now and again, like a longer email talking about the things you’ve done that day or just a detailed explanation of a ‘fantasy’ you had that you want to try when they get ‘home’. Emphasis on home and together in notes like that. These are ways you can include them, update them and ‘bait’ them into wanting to get home. These are the ‘spare time’ sorts of thing and should be sprinkled here and there, but not constant. Balance is key here. So what constitutes a ‘naughty’ love note these days?
Video/Audio notes: Record a couple of minutes of just talking like he’s right next to you. The ‘bedtime thoughts’ or making a video of something you saw that you thought he might like, laugh at or be turned on by. The level of ‘naughty’ is entirely up to you and the situation (always being SAFE about it). These are non-’live’ for a reason: they can be saved for later enjoyment and repeated viewing as needed. For these, creating a shared file folder in something like Drive/dropbox would work to keep them private and accessible while easing the uploading/sharing with each other.  I highly advise keeping access control on your side but also allowing the recipient to upload their own for you. This keeps the situation safe but also makes sort of a ‘hope chest’ of thoughts for each other.

Pictures: This one is pretty simple. It’s like sexting but waiting for him to find them when he gets home. They can be anything from naughty to sweet and should probably be a mix of both as well as ‘hey, i saw this and wanted to show you’. Funny bits, pretty skies, comfy spots in the bed.. hint often by showing things you want to share that you saw OR things you want to do when he gets home. This is a good opportunity to get creative and show off at the same time because if you’re going to be naughty,  have fun with it!

3: Special Gifts.
There’s nothing quite as effective as something you can touch, a secret you can tuck away and pull out when the mood hits. These are often a little more difficult to manage but almost always ‘pay off’ because they show all of the important things at once and can be varied strongly toward each relationships ‘naughty thing’ elements. Example: A ‘jock boy’s daddy might appreciate a pair that his boy has worn (and vice versa: HINT all these can and should go both ways), or a caregiver might appreciate opening a suitcase and finding a special teddy tucked in to keep him company when his little boy is away. Vary this, adapt the idea for your ‘world’ together and exploit the reasons this works.
It’s not something you can do all the time but if you think ahead you can (as mentioned above) pack a surprise for him or tuck one in with his things if you’re leaving. Get creative, think ahead, be sweet or sexy or both all at once. A good old fashion “mix tape” can be just as effective as a ‘token of affection and no matter the mood you want to inspire, your affection and desire will hit their mark more than the gift itself. The limits here are up to you but always be ‘safe’ about it, especially if you’re VERY naughty because you don’t want to ruin something they are taking with them by accident. So be creative but also considerate at the same time with a physical memento.

To keep it ‘brief’ and summarize here at the end:

They say a ‘taste of home’ can ease the homesick heart, but almost any sensation will do the trick. Be it taste, scent, or touch, these things are tools everyone has at their disposal if they think ‘outside the box’ in their hands most of the day. Strip away technology and go back to basics then use that tech to ‘transmit’ those messages. Take time, show ingenuity and creativity but most of all:

Have FUN.

A boy, doing what he loves, showing how he feels and what he needs, because he wants to make his Daddy happy will always be the best part of those little ‘somethings’ that remind him of home.
My best, as always,
-Daddy Cade